Retrospective of this year

This year, as always, I plan to write a reflection. My writings tend to get quite long, so I’ve decided to start early. This year also was full of ups and downs with many events and lessons learned.

Background

I’m writing this to reflect this year, let go of what needs to be left behind, and think about how I can live a better life. Below is a list of the reflections I’ve written so far.

I plan to write about whether I achieved my goals, how this year went, and my thoughts on future plans and life.

Did I achieve goals?

Just like last time, I was curious whether I achieved the goals I outlined in last year’s reflection. So I brought up the goals I had written down last year.

Make design and code well

It’s a goal I failed to achieve right from the start. When writing last year’s reflection, I planned to put a lot of thought into design and carefully consider my code whenever I worked on development. However these goals were not achieved.

Most of the code I wrote at work was focused on completing tasks quickly, and even the studies I did at home were often disrupted by overlapping responsibilities which give me no time to take deep thought. Of course, this could be limit of my abilities, but looking at the results, it seems I didn’t achieve this goal properly.

I studied UML a bit as part of learning about design, but I never applied it in practice. Looking back, even when organizing documents or handling my tasks at work, I didn’t create or attempt to draw up any good design. Of course, I created designs and diagrams for presentations for sharing to colleagues or organizing my personal tasks. Those things were not satisfied. While I wanted to share them, I doubted whether those were done well. That uncertainty is the reason of my dissatisfaction.

To conclude, if someone asked whether there was good design and good code during development, I would answer, “It was lacking!”. Even outside of the company in my personal work as well it’s hard to find good design and good code.

Choice and Focus

Everyone knows that it’s important to make choices and focus, to prioritize tasks, and to do the most important ones step by step. However I’m not sure if I did this well this time. The first challenge was making choices. At work, there were frequent interruptions and constant changes in tasks, which made it hard to focus on one thing. Even after leaving the office, I had trouble focusing on important tasks due to the mental chaos from work. When I got home, household chores and other tasks naturally took priority, pushing other tasks to the back burner. As a result, I think I ended up accomplishing fewer of the things I had planned.

Focus and prioritization are among the key elements of success in life, but those are always difficult.

Additional Project Development

To be honest, I didn’t achieve this either. I tried to do personal studies, stock trading, exercise, and development all at once, so I couldn’t complete the game I had planned. I took online design courses, practiced using Illustrator, and even bought books to study pixel art. However, time was extremely limited. Since the project required more design resources than development, I focused on studying related areas. Although I invested quite a bit of time, it only left me feeling exhausted, and in the end, I still can’t draw or create resources on my own.

Still, I made an effort to consistently write on my blog, and I think I managed to write more than I expected. While I didn’t set a specific number of posts to write, I ended up averaging about one post per month. I didn’t just organize what I studied but also wrote about my personal experiences, so I view my blogging activity positively. I plan to continue this activity next year as well. I’ll stick to the same approach writing comfortably whenever I have time, without setting a specific number of posts.

Continuous Growth and Learning

This is also a bit tricky to answer clearly. “Have I achieved continuous growth?” The answer is undoubtedly “Yes.” The reason is that I’ve learned a lot while facing challenges at work and gaining knowledge from my colleagues. And if the question is, “Have I continued learning?” the answer is likewise “Yes.” In addition to work, I’ve also done some study here and there on my own.

However, if I ask myself, “Did I study as much as I aimed to?” the answer would be “No.” My goal was to study enough to freely create game design resources, but I only managed to follow a few tutorials. I wanted to understand the concepts and principles necessary for server development while studying Spring, but I only focused on the tasks I worked on at my company. As for UML, I barely studied it at all. Aside from that, I studied to resolve my curiosity and learned bits and pieces here and there.

While I achieved continuous growth and studied consistently, I fell short of my goals, and that’s something I regret.

Looking back, some of my goals were overly ambitious, but it also seems that I lacked clear and specific objectives. I realize now that I should have evaluated whether my goals were concrete and realistically achievable.

How Was This Year?

This year, I had countless thoughts and experiences that left a deep impression on me. I had planned to write about them daily in a journal, but I simply didn’t have enough time. For now, I’ll write down the parts I can remember.

Even the things I can recall are so many that those could be another writing.

I’ll write freely as those thoughts come to mind.

The company is just a part of my life, and since my life is what truly matters, I’ll write about the important aspects of my life later.

Various Things I Felt at Work

I really had a lot of realizations. Some were related to development, while others were more about life in general.

Here are some thoughts I had while working and developing. I’ll start by listing the things I noted down regularly.

The importance of generalization and standardization.
Traces must be left somewhere.
Technology is not everything.
Resources cannot be completely trusted.
What you worry about can happen someday.
Distinguishing between DEV, STG, and PROD is important.
Test is very important.
Don’t trust people.
Even when busy, you must do what’s necessary.
Context switching takes a lot of time.
The policies of high level organizations and the circumstances at the time.
You need to maintain physical strength and stay mentally focused.

When I start to elaborate on the topics, each one feels like it could be an article on its own, so I will organize them separately. I’ve summarized them in [Retrospective](EN) Development Retrospective.

This year, I read again the [Retrospective](EN) The first half retrospective and the retrospective from last year [Retrospective](EN) Let’s look back.

In the company related sections from last year, I wrote about “Work relates to the entire organization”, “Work that sometimes felt skeptical” “Changes in company and uncertain future” and “Not as much as last year, but some growth” and in the first half of this year, I reviewed the period from January to June.

So, how about this year? Let’s follow the same format as last year with major headings and write the details.

Continued and New Tasks

This year, I worked on tasks similar to those of last year, with a few additional tasks. I carried out organization wide data collection and integrated various services. As I mentioned last year, I appreciate being assigned ongoing long term projects rather than just short term ones. Although some might feel a sense of monotony with long term projects, I prefer them over short term projects. However, there was a reassignment of tasks within the team. Alongside my previous tasks, I also took on some additional tasks and resumed tasks which I involved two years ago.

One of the new tasks was related to DevOps, specifically CI/CD. I applied integration test in practice and implemented CI/CD using GitHub Actions.

I had experience about CI/CD when I was student but it was easy and basice deployment. This was my first time applying it in a production setting. Using GitHub Actions, I discovered the appeal of automation.

Tedious tasks can be automated.
Quality can be assured through test, build, and deploy in clean environments.

Above things are interesting. In fact, I took that work by myself because I disliked issue occurs in my tasks evev though its not my fault. It became a learning experience to me. While there are many CI/CD and deployment tools used in the industry, it was a bit disappointing that I only worked with GitHub Actions. However, I feel I’ve made some progress through work, and I’d like to continue learning and applying more in the future. Integration test was first time to me and it was challenging. I had experience with unit test during my studies, through books, and at work, but I had no experience beyond the level of functional test. The functional tests I had done when I was a student were all of my done about tests. For the platform I’m currently working on, I made test from setting infrastructure to saving data. This was incredibly difficult, as the tests took a long time and there were many variables to account for. I struggled a lot and still struggling with it. If I get the chance, I’d like to study best practices in integration test.

In my previous tasks, I was able to fix issues without much difficulty when those arose. However task that I took on two years ago had significant changes. Although the previous developer had done a great job, I struggled in the beginning because I didn’t have an in depth understanding of the system. Even now when issues occur, I often reach out to the previous developer for help. However I learned some when resolving issues. Over the past year the program has changed significantly and keeping up with those changes requires a lot of time.

I satisfied with current tasks but it concerns me that there’s still a long way to go and so much to do. I’d like to wrap up projects neatly and focus on improving them further but the overwhelming number of work requests and scattered issues made it difficult.

The project that had been ongoing since last year was finally completed this year. It was only possible because everyone I worked with put in so much effort. The process was truly eventful, filled with challenges, learning experiences, and moments of growth. While I’m a bit disappointed that the company evaluated this project mainly based on quantitative metrics, I believe it deserves greater recognition. This project generalized numerous cases and demonstrated significant potential for further development. Ultimately, we achieved something unprecedented and opened doors to even greater possibilities. Although there’s room for further technical advancement and refinement, I’m proud of the collaborative efforts of so many individuals and organizations in accomplishing such a substantial project.

Next year, even larger tasks and bigger challenges await, and I’m worried about whether I’ll be able to continue managing this work. At times like this, it seems crucial to adopt technologies that can ensure quality, and I’d like to study those areas further. Additionally, I’m eager to take on more work related to data collection.

The Importance of Physical Strength and Rest

This year, I’ve come to realize the importance of “physical strength” more than ever. As I approach my mid-30s, I can feel my energy declining year by year. Even though I exercise daily, it feels like my physical strength just can’t keep up. This lack of energy has often left me feeling mentally drained and less efficient, not only at work but also in my personal life after hours.

While I take various supplements and try to maintain healthy habits, it seems that aging is inevitable.

This year, I learned that in order to maintain my physical strength, I need to manage my time more efficiently than ever. It’s the only way to keep up and move forward.

Maintaining physical strength requires getting enough rest. Without proper rest, it’s inevitable that your energy levels will be affected. Recently, I changed my lifestyle to go to bed earlier and increase my sleep duration, and I’ve noticed a remarkable improvement in my body and physical strength. Constantly pushing yourself isn’t always the answer; taking enough rest allows you to handle other tasks more effectively.

Health comes first!

The Importance of Professional Expertise

Professional expertise is a naturally essential in a job. Over time, I’ve come to realize just how crucial expertise is in my work. Instead of explaining this at length, I found myself frequently thinking, “I need to become someone with greater expertise this year.” Whatever the task may be, having expertise makes everything flow more smoothly in work.

Watching a recent program, I was inspired by how confident and capable people with professional expertise appeared, and how they were able to advance more strongly in their work. This motivated me to push myself further.

It’s important to stay dedicated and do well in your primary job.

Organization’s Composition, Culture and Division of Work

Until now, I have been working at a company, watching various activities and programs, and thinking a lot about the organization and culture.

The Importance of a Leader

As I spent this year, I felt the importance of a leader. Not only did I feel it at work, but I realized the importance of a leader by watching a lot of soccer games this year, and I felt a similar part in a recent TV program. I really respected and liked Admiral Yi Sun-sin since I was young, but I felt again how important the importance of a leader was by watching a movie about Admiral Yi Sun-sin recently.

When you watch soccer, you can see that the game changes from time to time depending on the tactics of the coach and the player’s ability to operate. Even in wars, I have often seen cases in which players win even when they are at a disadvantage depending on who directs the battlefield.

It is difficult to write in detail because I am afraid someone see it at work because this is an open space. However I would like to briefly write down what I felt. In the past, I thought that if I was good at it, I could change the team I belonged to. Of course, sometimes a really outstanding person changes teams and then the whole team but it’s really rare. It can be considered impossible in general situations.

I’ve been thinking since last year that the work was heavy on the team, but I wonder if it would have been less difficult if such distribution had been made better and there were more resources (people, etc.). Maintenance work is not considered important maybe because it’s the manufacturing industry. Of course, maintenance and repair can be considered a basic part of work, but in the case of software, it is often more difficult to manage after released. It seems like we belong to that case.

My words got a little longer, but I can’t write in detail, but what I felt this year is that the role of a leader is very important. I think a good leader is a person who understands the work accurately, understands people’s abilities as much as possible, distributes the work appropriately, and coordinates between superiors and team members well enough.

The Importance of Personal Ability

It is so natural that there is no need to say it in a long time. No matter how good the leader’s plan and direction are, it is difficult to expect good results if individual abilities are insufficient. Even if you enter a good team and learn a lot, you must have sufficient personal skills.

It is the basis of life that an individual always tries hard.

The Importance of Culture

As many blogs and media have already emphasized, there seems to be no need to talk about the importance of culture at length. Culture includes a variety of elements. I once again realized how important various cultures are to the success of an organization, such as a culture that tolerates failure, a culture that shares knowledge, and a culture that focuses on teams rather than individuals.

In particular, in a vertical structure, when the authority of the upper class is too dominant, the opinion raised below may be revised or not delivered properly. Conversely, there are often situations in which the instructions from above must be executed even though it is hard to do. Of course, I know that great efforts are being made to solve these problems but it seems difficult for large organizations to completely solve these problems.

At times like this, I realized how important the role of leaders is in each position.

If I use a specific example, I think I will get a conact from somewhere, so I wrote it somewhat vaguely. Through my experience from last year to this year, I could feel the importance of leaders, individuals, and cultures.

Personal Work and Self Development

Now it’s time to finally tell my personal story. In addition to what I wrote in my retrospective in the first half of this year, this time I added a little bit of retrospectives related to my daily life.

Blog

I didn’t write as much this year, but I’m satisfied that I maintained a consistent writing habit. Unlike last year, I set lower goals this time and focused solely on sustaining the habit of writing, which I successfully achieved. However, I do feel a bit regretful about not being able to write everything I wanted to. Still, I’m generally satisfied with what I’ve written this year.

Earlier this year, I heard from a colleague at work that my blog had been registered as an Awesome Devblog without even realizing it. The post I wrote was automatically uploaded there. I thought I should have written better if I had known this in advance. Still, I was proud to thank the person who registered my blog on Awesome Devblog.

The maximum weekly visitors reached 20,000 three years ago, but now it is maintained at around 5,000. This is satisfactory. Although the income is still low, it is surprising that it has increased compared to the past. This may be due to anchor-type advertising. Blog has become like a small energy charger to me.

I will continue to write blogs. I may have to take care of my family more next year, so I write less often, but my goal is to record even a short amount of content. If it continues until next year, I will run a blog for eight years. I feel proud and valuable to myself that I have continuously recorded contents related to my major.

Game

As expected, nothing is easy in the world. I aimed to develop a game, but this year I ended up studying illustrator, and I didn’t get a proper game release. I don’t think I lacked will, but I didn’t get any clear results even though I studied for a set amount of time every day. I will try again if I have time in future.

Ideas such as story, direction, and development are well organized in my head, but it was difficult to proceed to the next stage because the picture did not come out as I wanted. I thought about using the free resources of the Unity Asset Store but I plan to actively consider paid resources next year.

I still want to send messages, emotions, and lingering feelings to people through the game. However, other priorities are higher at the moment, so I’m trying to put this dream on hold for a while.

English

If I don’t speak English consistently, I think I keep missing it. I started listening to English conversations on my way to work earlier this year, and when there were no people around me, I spoke alone. I try to maintain my habit like this because I can’t make time separately.

If I follow English every morning, I feel my mouth relaxes little by little. On the other hand, I realize how important consistency is when I see that pronunciation becomes difficult again even after a few days off.

English is now a must, not an option. Even with the advancement of artificial intelligence and translation technology, people to people conversations are completely different. That’s why I think it’s necessary to study English consistently even if I use my time.

Major

It is the same as last year. In fact, it is positive that it is the same. I was in a satisfactory state last year, so I feel that I am maintaining a good habit this year as always. I don’t think there is a need to organize it in particular. If I have any questions anytime, anywhere, I look it up and study naturally through the various curriculum provided by the company. I wish I could maintain this state as steadily as I am now.

DX Creator

This was a new company activity that I started this year, and as mentioned in the first half of the year retrospective, it was an experience that I was able to relieve stress and gain energy. I think I achieved my goal of doing various activities at the same time by practicing presenting and standing in front of the camera. I hope I can continue this activity next year. Thanks to my activities here, I had a special experience filming with celebrities and appeared on my company’s YouTube channel. This activity also helped relieve my stress.

Excercise

It’s one of the things I’ve been working hard on consistently for several years. On the day I go to work, I usually go to exercise in the morning and do muscle and aerobic exercises at the same time. I’m satisfied with what I’ve been doing steadily this year because I’m skinny, so exercising is essential and it’s good for my health. I plan to continue next year.

However this year there were days when I exercised excessively so I had a body strain. Next year I plan to take a day off from exercise by sleeping late on weekdays at least once every two weeks. I’d like to balance consistency and health.

Health Management

It’s been a while since I’ve been in my 30s, and I can’t believe I’ll already be 33 next year. Time really flies. As I get older, I feel like I can feel the changes in my body. When I get home from work, I get tired enough to rest right away and on the weekend I need to rest well for about a day to recover. Colds used to be cured in a day but now I often suffer from them for several days. Through these experiences, I am realizing the importance of health more.

Health was originally important, but now I’m more concerned. I’m trying to exercise consistently and cut back on sugary drinks and foods. I’m also trying to eat less salty food as much as possible. Sufficient sleep is also important, I try to sleep more than 7 hours a day. People who do more by reducing sleep are amazing, but now I feel like getting enough sleep for my body is more important.

I think I’m at an age where I have to manage more thoroughly in everything, including food, exercise, and sleep.

Time with Family

I think family is one of the most important parts of life. A big part of the reason for my hard life so far was for my current family and the family I will meet in the future. In this cruel and desolate society, the last thing I can lean on is my family. Last year, a new family was created that could show me the most comfortable way, and thanks to this, my sense of responsibility in life has increased significantly. There will be greater responsibilities to come in the future, but there are also concerns about whether I can perform the role well. I hope I can do well as my responsibilities grow in the future.

Nevertheless, I’d like to take better care of my family and live harder and give them help and care. Family is and will continue to be the most important reason in my life.

My Life

Life of This Year

This year was also a busy one. I woke up early every morning, went to exercise before going to work, and after spending the day at work, I came back home or attended appointments. On the day I came home, I used to study individually after I finished my housework, and on the day I had an appointment, I came home and prepared for bed right away. On the weekends, strangely, I had to go out every week, so I think I went out almost every time.

In summary, it was a very hard year. However, I felt that my physical strength was getting weaker. In the future, even if I exercise or reduce my personal time, I need to increase my sleep more. There are people who want to do more by reducing sleep, but it is already proven by many studies that adequate sleep is the core of health. Nutrition is important, but sleep is also.

On the weekend, I usually went to an appointment or a place I wanted to go, and I went to my parents’ house more than once a month. This year I used my day off for only 3 days at the time of writing this article and I didn’t travel specifically. I have a little regret that I didn’t travel but I plan to go next year.

Looking back, I feel like I’ve lived my days really hard. The day felt short but I’m slightly worried that time will go by faster in the future.

Looking back on this year, I felt that the first and second are health. I will continue to live as hard as I do now but I will try to take care of my health first.

There are some regrets but even looking back I think I lived hard on my own.

Emotion

This year was a year of many changes in my emotions and personality. MBTI changed from ESFJ to ISFJ. As I was in my 30s and older, my personality became calmer. I changed to prefer spending time alone and recharging my energy.

I had a lot of thoughts and my head was complicated. Time passed, getting older and my young adult image is getting down. I thought a lot of things like that. So sometimes I walked alone and spaced out by myself. It’s hard to express my feelings. There were times when I felt a little serious and down.

It is just getting emotional when time goes. Still complicated. Is because I am head of my family? Am I?

I hope I have a personality that thinks easily without thinking. I think there is this current situation because I am serious about everything and buy worries from a young age.

Sometimes, I wonder if it was really necessary to live so fiercely, struggling as I have until now. While it’s true that my current self and everything around me exist because of this effort, I can’t help but question whether living so intensely was truly the right approach. I wasn’t particularly gifted, so working hard felt like the only option available to me. However I wonder its way was right.

Living hard is also a problem but now I feel that luck and choice are really important. Luck is important from birth and the direction of life changes depending on what you choose in your life. I wonder whether I made a good choices in my life. Future choices will become more and more difficult to turn around and the impact of luck will increase. I don’t mean everything is luck and choosing does not make complete success or fail. I was talking about the importance of choice and luck. I hope that the choices so far have been good choices.

It may seem skeptical but now there are people who ask me to think like “There is only responsibility and obligation”. I think that might be the answer in a way.

I think depression, anxiety, worry, and regret were created this year. I already had those before but it seems that emotions were added than before.

However what’s important about emotions! The tasks given to me is important and I have to do those things in priority. And it’s not that serious so I’ll think about it little by little whenever I have time. And as always, if I become very busy and tired those thoughts will disappear.

While I’ve mostly written about negative thoughts, this year also brought moments of pride. Reflecting on the past and taking time for myself helped me feel more grounded and calm. I’m also filled with excitement and anticipation for our new member of my family in the near future.

Effort and Natural Talent

I am always grateful for what I have. I am very happy just to have a healthy and loving family. However I have a lot of greed. I’d like to do well and do well more. I wanted to overcome my weaknesses and complexes. But honestly I couldn’t say that I was particularly smart. I needed more effort. In high school, I studied during breaks and travel times and I always actively participated in classes at school and academy. I was told by my friends “Why is that friend studying so hard?” Why did I do that? It’s because I had to work that hard to stand shoulder to shoulder with friends who are good at it. Because I tried so hard, my grades improved and I was able to maintain similar grades to those who were good at it. Even after entering college and after joining the company I have lived like that. Of course it wasn’t as much as in high school but I still did my best.

Sometimes I think, “Is this the right way to live? Isn’t this what I’m under more pressure?” Talent people are better at with less effort than I am so shouldn’t I just live with what I have? It’s not to say that talent people don’t make an effort but it’s a question of whether it’s right to just live comfortably in the abilities that are given to me.

I have a desire to win others to hide my flaws and complexes. I don’t know why but it was my stress and also moving force to me. Now though I feel like I’ve reached a state of partial acceptance.

After all, it’s inevitable that I have to work harder than I am born with or to do better with people I am born with. This is the reality of your body, money, ability, or whatever it is.

The Importance of Method

As important as effort is, the method is equally crucial. Simply working hard isn’t enough. One must find efficient and effective ways to achieve goals. While this is something everyone knows, without regularly reviewing whether we’re applying the right approach, it becomes difficult to achieve meaningful results. Just working hard isn’t enough for me. I need to evaluate my methods and make sure my efforts are being applied efficiently.

Regrets, Areas for Improvement, and Goals

Last year, there were things that I wrote as follows.

Design and Implementation of Good Code in Development
Choice and Concentrate
Additional works and releases
Keep growing and studying

This year there are still some regrets about above things so further improvement is needed. It seems that I have achieved some goals for each but each one still had some regrets and this time I am going to set specific goals.

Design and Implementation of Good Code in Development

This year, I took time to study UML and design patterns little by little. And I read the design documents made by other people at work carefully. I’m still not good at it but I think my design skill is little bit improved by reading others. I have regret that I didn’t make many good designs. I was busy because I didn’t have enough opportunities to design but next time I’d like to read and copy a lot of good designs or design them by myself. If I have a chance to write it on my blog while studying I will try to do so.

There are many things I have regret about this year’s code. In fact, it doesn’t seem to have changed much from last year. I probably improved my skills little by little while taking reviews but its not satisfied. I think it’ll probably be the same next year but rather than studying separately I should continue to review at work and study better examples of good codes that come up every month in company.

Choice and Concentrate

I think it’s a really important thing in life. I think it’s an important thing that anyone can do well and succeed. The conclusion of this is as I wrote last year. I wrote last year, “Let’s make priority on what I have to do and focus on what’s been decided to do.” Actually, this is the answer, but it’s really hard to put into practice. Actually, I wonder if there’s really a way. I just wrote down what I have to do as I do now, roughly calculate the time and try to solve it as much as possible within that time but if I can’t, I put it behind me and deal with the next thing. However it’s not as easy as I think if there’s a lot of sudden interrupts in the middle… Next time, I think I should have enough time to plan my work.

I think choice and concentrate is the most key important key point in life.

Additional works and releases

I originally plan to release a game, but a year has flown so fast. This year was so hectic that I couldn’t find the time to work on it. I wanted to study design and develop a game, even bought books, but only managed to watch online lectures and couldn’t proceed further. Just following along with Illustrator tutorials took over 30 minutes each time. I worked on it whenever I had a time, but I only completed one lecture and barely read the introductory part of the book. As it stands, I’m not at a level where I can actually create anything. It feels like the plan has failed. I didn’t produce any work and my skills with design tools have improved only very little.

Now, I’m wondering if I should keep this goal for next year. To create the game I want, I need to study design and be able to produce the assets I need. But there’s a limit to how much time I can dedicate after work and on weekends. Since I have no sense of how much time investment is needed to reach the skill level I want, it’s hard to set a clear goal.

So if I were to compromise, I think I’d either need to buy paid assets and focus solely on making the game. I’m still unsure about what to do exactly, but since I know I’ll have even less time next year, I’ll likely need to drastically scale down my plans.

Honestly I do have thoughts and ambitions about making gamr or others but I think I’ll have to put them on hold for now.

Keep growing and studying

As I have been doing, I plan to continue studying additional questions that come up during work, organizing them on my blog, and studying areas of interest as arise. Instead of setting a new plan, I intend to stick with this approach that has worked for me so far.

Since I mentioned these aspects last year and those come up again this year, it seems these aspects must be truly important. Looking back at what I wrote last year, I think I made a good choice in focusing on these priorities.

While above things are related to work and my job, I’d like to add one more thing.

Time Distribution between Family and Work

As I got older, I felt a lot of the importance of family. I wanted to spend more time with my family. In the past, my big goal was to become a company executive and promote national prestige and work for my country. However I completely changed my mind when I realized that without my family, those goals meant nothing. As I wrote in my previous retrospective, I feel sorry for my brother dog Bobo, and I regret that I should have spent more time with my parents. If I invest less time in the company, my chances for promotion will naturally decrease. However I still don’t want to spend my life alone at the company. My new goal in the future is to make enough time to have time alone with my family, people close to me and others.

About Life

Objects and Direction?

When I read the post I wrote last year some have changed and some have remained the same. There are some new content need to be added. The same part of what I wrote two years ago seems to be still valid so I brought it back below.

When I was young, I thought 32 years of me would achieve many things but I cannot sure how many things I achieved. I think I had many goals when I was young and growing up. Maybe because I read a lot of great personal biography I’d like to protect and develop our country which has been struggling and developed in difficult circumstances, I’d like to help good people who suffered from bad people and I’d like to help and contribute to the world. Of course! It’s the same now. I sometimes dream of achieving any of my previous goals and thinking that my life was “OK” before I died so many times later. I’d like to help animals that receive relatively little human touch as well.

The previous goals are important but the most important thing in my life is my happiness. Most of my happiness is from my family and my people. My family is more important than any previous goal. I regret that I could not care for my brother(dog) and family because I just cared for myself and focused on my success. After that, I’m trying to spend even one more minute with my family. I’d like to take care of my family and spend more time with them. Nothing is more important than my family.

Reading it again, I don’t think I’ve changed my mind much. I still feel like I’m living the same way I used to, and maybe I’m living a consistent life. Now as my family member increases I feel more responsible for my family.

As I get older my physical strength weakens and every day feels shorter and shorter. I also feel to my body that I am busy. Last year, I studied, played, or had my time after work for about an hour. However now I’d like to go to sleep right away. Perhaps physical strength is weakening with age, responsibility increases, and greed and goals remain the same but I feel that I am losing energy to do them. In fact, the answer seems to be already decided. If I’m tired, there is no other way than to plan and implement it really thoroughly. Of course, there is a way to set down my greed and goals a little. Some of the goals I have set so far have been achieved and some have not been achieved. I am also worried about whether I will be able to achieve those goals in the future.

I joined the school and company I was aiming for, and I achieved some of my bucket list. However there were still some goals I didn’t achieve. For example, purchasing a house where I lived in past and making a lot of money have not been achieved yet. Is that because the goals are not specific? Or is it because the goals are too high? It seems that it is time to reorganize these goals once again, give up some goals and make concrete and feasible plans. Otherwise I think my unfulfilled goals will remain as only dreams. The sense of crisis I felt while spending this year was that the goals I dreamed of would now remain just empty dreams.

Now, I feel that I need to organize my dreams and set more specific goals.

When I read last year’s article, I think my head was fully filled with flowers at that time. I think I was a child full of hope. I brought the past post as it is.

This year I made a new family and we’re living together. My goal was to take good care of my family and loved ones, but I’m not sure if I’m doing that well… It feels truly hectic. Future will be difficult more but I still have many concerns. I still have many things I want to do, including previous studies and goals, as well as interests such as stocks, travel, exercise, video production, writing, reading, hobbies, game, volunteering, and meeting people, and more.

Even though I believe that I can do it. Everyone else is living so well! In the new year, I’d like to take better care of my family, myself, and everything I want to take care of.

And no matter how difficult and worrisome it may be, I now believe that it’s time to do it. Looking at what I have accomplished so far, I am confident that I can do it sufficiently.

Looking back after a year, I had a lot of goals but I didn’t complete much. That doesn’t mean I feel bad. On second thought, it seems that the goal was not specific and I only had greed. The “study, stock, travel, exercise, video production, writing, reading, hobbies, games, volunteering, meeting people” listed above are actually things I want to do but I don’t think those were set as goals. In the end nothing was achieved properly but only some of it seems to have been achieved.

Other than that I had a bigger goal of moving to my old house and earning some much money by the age of 30. However I couldn’t achieve it either.

I had a few thoughts.

Even if there is something that I’d like to do, I may not be able to do it.
Goals should be set specifically.
I have to clean up my greed.

As always it’s good to be hopeful and have a lot of greed and dreams on my own but to do it properly, I think I need to choose a few of them with high priority and plan them more specifically. I think it’s no longer meaningful to list what I want to do next year and shout “I can do it” by myself so I think I need to revise my plans.

I’ll think about it a little more. I’ve only picked three of the most important things in a wide range.

Family
Health
Work

Now that I am a head of family and have a family, I will prioritize and take care of family related things first. Also health seems to be a really important factor so I think I should consider it first when doing something and take care of it thoroughly. And although it is not the most important thing in life I put work on the priority list because I have to make money.

I will try to live my life as listed above.

I’ll sort out the rest of things.

I exercise every morning but I’m going to change it from 5 days a week to 4 days a week and try to sleep more one day. I saw through a video that sleep is the most important thing in aging.

I only read english documents at work and listen to english conversations on my way to work. I will try to do that as same as now.

About stocks I still don’t know how. I’ve learned basic knowledge and felt that response to stock market is important but I don’t know how to plan and do it well. So my goal is to respond appropriately to the market without setting additional goals. I’m going to subtract a certain portion of my monthly salary and plan to invest well at the set rate. This is a development blog so pass about deatil.

I’m going to go on a trip!

In the case of video making, my goal was to study the Premier Pro. However if I can continue my ongoing creator activities at the company I will try to appear as I do now. I can relieve a lot of stress and achieve my past bucket list. So I will continue to do it.

Finally the problem is the game. I’d like to make game but I don’t know what and how to do with the design elements. It’s not enough to learn and draw one by one. So I decided not to set a goal because I have a lot of other things to do. It’s a bit sad, and the story and concept of game keep coming to mind but I’m going to think about it after I finish other important things first. It was inefficient to just listen to the lecture every time and there’s very little left in my head.

So in summary, the goals I have in mind for the new year are as follows first. It can be changed depending on the situation.

Family related work first
Work
- Company
- DX Creator
One or two overseas trips
Exercise four times a week
Listening to english conversation on the way to work
A good night’s sleep and rest
Blog
Investment

Looking back the past, I found myself achieving my goals of getting a job and creating a family. However not achieving other goals. At this rate, I felt that my goals would not be achieved in the future. So I felt that it was right to first put down a lot of goals and greed and take care of important things first.

In the past I thought that I just had to live hard, sleep less and be diligent was good. However these days, I realized that’s not the answer. Of course, it may be right for someone, but it’s important to live a tactful life that suits me. In fact, I’ve seen many cases where my body and mind weaken while doing so, and I’ve experienced it this year.

It is good to set many goals and live hard with confidence but this time I plan to set realistic goals specifically and live with them as a priority. Instead, as much as I reduce my goals, I should achieve my goals.

I need more money to move to a good school district and take better care of my family. Those goals cannot fullfill me but I think it is right to set realistic goals first because the environment has changed a lot.

And so that I don’t regret it again, I’m going to put caring about my family first.

Conclusion

Now I try to spend more time for my family than for personal things. That’s why I don’t think I can write blogs often so I wrote down this year’s retrospectives hesitantly according to the flow of consciousness. This blog is focused on my skills and majors so I tried not to write down personal life or personal content as much as possible. However now I think I’m at an important point so I wrote it down for a long time with the intention of thinking about the various emotions and thoughts in my head. In fact, I have so many thoughts in my head that I haven’t been able to organize them all. If I had written them all down, maybe… I think it would have been a mess of writing as a stream of consciousness. It would be not a blog.

Still, I’m going to take the time to write a blog.

I will continue to live my life as humble and sincere as I do now. I don’t think I will have time to write a retrospective like this next time. It will be almost my last retrospective, but I will continue to write as I used to. I hope that the emotions and thoughts that I felt complicated will be removed.

Let’s continue to work hard as I’ve done so far! Gratefully and humbly, let’s work hard!

[Retrospective](EN) Let’s look back

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